What Am I Writing?

This morning I'm linking up with Mama Kat's Writers Workshop.

The prompt I chose was -  1) What are your reading?  But because I don't always follow directions, I turned it into:

What am I Writing?

That's not actually me.  And I don't write with an ink pen.

I'm writing a humorous parenting book.

In it, I share all kinds of BMMs (aka. Bad Mommy Moments) so that all the other parents reading it will feel better about themselves, their parenting skills, and life in general.

I'll share a few here:


1.  When my daughter was 5 years old, I won a board game.  I immediately (without thinking) sang, "I am the Champion and You are the Loser!"  My daughter burst into tears and has been scarred every since.

Bad.  Very bad.


2. When my daughter was 12, I took her to an expensive, trendy store in the mall.  She wanted a pair of jeans (of which she had to pay part).  I saw a young, good-looking, male sales guy and promptly asked him, "Do you have any jeans that don't show plumber-butt when you bend over."  He looked embarrassed and said, "I'll get one of the girls to help you."

My poor daughter seethed, "You did NOT just say that!"

Bad. Very bad.


3. In front of my daughter, I told the principal of her school that I was willing to go into her naughty math class and "kick some 8th grade butt" by threatening to call their moms (most of whom I know.)

My daughter immediately ran to the bathroom and burst into tears.  Again.

Bad.  Very bad.


Now don't you feel better?!